Forgettable

SLEEP Go to sleep. it is sleeping. ASLEEP    I'm falling asleep. SLEPT  Sorry I slept.  I slept, phone was in my hand the whole night. I feel like I'm the ultimate solution to all sorts of insomnia, but, I ain't lullaby, I'm Lucille.

How, how many hours I've stood continuously? How many exactly? So I start to do the elementary school math, I calculate the time in my mind.  Twelve plus five equals seventeen, seventeen minus nine equals eight. Eight, right? Should I reach out my fingers to make sure? I'm sure it's eight. Damn, back in the elementary school, I was left in the classroom after school because I couldn't memorize the multiplication table, me and other classmates were allowed to go home only when we remembered the results correctly.  I'm sure it's eight. I stood for eight hours today. Hey, anyone knows? I stood eight hours today! I can't feel my legs! Anyone cares? Hello? Anyone?

Outside the terminal, I stood in the -5°C darkness prior to dawn at 6:30 am, for 15 minutes. A shiny 999 passed by, another 777 passed by. Orange street lights surge on them. Morning.

The change is happening, in the first month of 2025, which is, astonishingly out of everyone's expectations, even though angle's been sending me signs for big changes. The voyage is starting. Something must be done, despite being alone on the way. I fondly appreciate all the kindness and help I received since the winter of 2021.  Thank you all, my stiff arms I've trained for ten months.  The metal machine is going to tear through the pitch-dark, when the sun rises, I can say "look, another day!" There are so many occasions in life that an individual has to face all alone, but when the fact—after all these years, I still have to do this 25-hour-trip all alone slaps me, I'm not sure which emotion to put in it.

5: I took bus 5 to the store, even though I wanted to wait for another one. 5: Amongst all the buses in the parking lot, bus 5 came out first, I took bus 5 back again, even though I wanted to take the one less time-consuming. 5: She showed me her phone screen, saying it was "number five", yeah, exactly 5 on her screen. When I started to feel confused what was so unusual with 5, the figure changed to 6, 7, 8. Then I realised she said "number dance". It would rather demonstrate 555 in three different scenarios than popping up a 555 car, no matter what it is, it's more delicate, isn't it?

My eyes were opened at the same time as yesterday. At the moment I was about to get up, I took a second thought, yeah, holiday, no work.  So I closed my eyes again.  What a precious day.

You can't, I know, I've known it for long time. Reason, yeah, that's the reason why it is happening this way. Decision, that's the moment I'm clearly acknowledged I've made the correct decision. Thank god, for giving me the power to know what I want. Thy birth merits the celebration from all people.