Forgettable

Would It still hug her after all these years and things passed away? Would she still run to him to give him endless huggings after that metaphorically bloody doomsday? Time is frozen in three years ago, could it be that the temporary flourish really had something to do with me?  The mind was full of a vague image in the solo painkilling-activity as five years ago.  At that moment, when the super warm cotton wrapped her, she closed her eyes, safe and warm. If anyone can convince her that was not a curse, she'd say the warmth felt like Its never-happened huggings, while her head was on Its shoulder. 

Will I feel better after replying all the letters? Will I get responses after such a long time? The only way to know is to do it. 

 I drank all the Americano she left on the table. I didn't count how many packs were there but the coffee powder clumped together due to the southern humidity. Yet drank all of them day by day. On the table was the big bottle of coffee I brought home last time, I once told her to drink some if she missed me. Looking at the thin layer of coffee remained in the bottle. I regretted that instead of honey, I told her to drink some coffee when she missed me, the taste of missing me shouldn't have associated with the bitter coffee.  I once mentioned my cup of coffee is americano without any sweetener. So at some time I didn't know mom bought two boxes of them but apparently she liked the one I bought more. mom, I drank them all. Thank you, mama. 

One month later, near the busy street market, when the daytime started dimming, I gathered all my strength, holding a heavy bag of food, slowly followed the route I saw on the video that day. She just followed the daily routine, buying some food for lunch, yet the scriptwriter did something unacceptably brutal to her that she couldn't even passed the other side of the sidewalk. Cars were still galloping on the road, masses were still making a life by selling and buying. Yeah, thinking about what to eat tonight, what to eat tomorrow morning, exactly what life is about, right? TO EAT!!! The yellow warm light from the stores tried to torn apart the darkness to attract more buyers, the whole world functioned as if nothing had ever happened.  I paused, I stared at the surface of the road, no trace of anything was found, only that crude asphalt pavement knew why my eyes looked for something on it.  I carried that bag of food, I kept walking further to the next junction. I would prep...

Yeah, what's outside the simulation?