Maybe My Existence is A Mistake

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When I was kid, I felt guilty when my parents quarreled, I curled myself in the corner, hoping they could stop it. When I’m in the middle age, I still have the feeling that maybe I shouldn’t have existed in the world in the first place, I haven’t figured out why they always targeted me even though I asked for nothing expensive but just a simple peaceful life, which is a treasure for me, I’d give all I have to feel safe for one day. I should have stayed alone as I did in the past twenty seven year. I trust nobody, I want to let it pay for  what’s done to me. But I doubted if becoming the one I hated the most is the solution, someone else will get hurt. However, did anyone know when I was in hell, hurting until the eyes dried out? 

Me, a leafy boat floating in the ocean of peril. How many tomorrows are there for me?

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