Passwords

-
The first day without me, the heating is finally on, together with my biological cycle. Should I stressed the warmth at night, or the weary body? None of them. I should learn to feel numb — a lesson one billion times harder than mathematics. 

Another full moon night, I want to go there, to tell you the golden leaves, the chilly air, that our favourite season is closer and closer, that the forecast says tomorrow sleet shows up to the world. However the two passwords escaped my brain again. I'm ostracized.

Then I realised, being mad can be so deafeningly silent. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blue vs Red

-
Two officially compatible colors are running at your town. Who will win? The blue me or red you? The answer is easy—the one who loves more will win.  We love each other equally. The universe saw it. But what I'm loving? There's nothing there now, not a single word. The fact you enjoy being a stranger to me us is a hard fact I've learned to accept.
Read more

Aroma

-
Image
At night, the aroma of Mama's food still lingered the air in the house, as if mom just cooked us a delicious meal as those countless old days. I waited for mom's call from the kitchen to ask us to eat, but no sound. I kept the light on as usual, I wrapped myself in the cotton blanket, I closed my eyes. "Mama", I whispered.   I was long for mung bean pastry, a snack I loved since the first time I ate. So I decided to make it from scratch. One important ingredient is the lard. I noticed a bowl of fatty meat in the freezer for a while. So I took it out, defrost it. When it was boiling in the water, a lot of garlic gloves and dried shrimps were separated into the water. The images of mom peeling garlic and adding spices to the meat flashed in my mind, I held the spatula to stir the meat, so that my tears wouldn't drop. Then a familiar aroma of Mama's food drifted in the kitchen. I thought of the days mom cooking in the kitchen, I breathed deeply, I felt safe in th...
Read more

O My Love

-
Just text me if you really miss me or just wanna know what's going on in my mind.  What's the point to see the not-updated website again and again, the site can't chat to you like an AI.  Maybe you're pursuing the ascetic traits, the endurance, the more suffering and void you face the more alive you feel. Like, pain is what I'm living for, headache is the only way for you to take a break from the numbness?  O, P, q, my love, I want to love you but you can't accept that love. I still remember the day I cried like crazy when I realised you needed to end it and the pain under my chest.  They say a couple should definitely visit a temple together once, if they break up after the visit, don't feel bad for it because you're protected. If no break up then the next step is to consider the long-term commitment.  We've visited a temple the first day we communicated in another language. I, you on my palms, we were in a temple. Is it counted as we are still toge...
Read more