Forgettable

La plupart de nos histoires sont pareilles, sauf que la tienne est meilleure que la mienne.

I carried 10L of soil from the garden to the balcony, mostly for the cucumber, but I found the cucumber I changed a bigger pot for, which had three cucumbers on it, had withered. I added some fertilizer in the soil yesterday. I guessed the fertilizer killed it. The pumpkin in the land grew new leaves even though the two small pumkins did not survive the new environment. With the temperature lower than 20 ℃ at night , young seedlings can barely survive, unless they sprout from the ground.  I wonder if I will harvest any pumpkins in autumn.

When I was kid, I felt guilty when my parents quarreled, I curled myself in the corner, hoping they could stop it. When I’m in the middle age, I still have the feeling that maybe I shouldn’t have existed in the world in the first place, I haven’t figured out why they always targeted me even though I asked for nothing expensive but just a simple peaceful life, which is a treasure for me, I’d give all I have to feel safe for one day. I should have stayed alone as I did in the past twenty seven year. I trust nobody, I want to let it pay for  what’s done to me. But I doubted if becoming the one I hated the most is the solution, someone else will get hurt. However, did anyone know when I was in hell, hurting until the eyes dried out?  Me, a leafy boat floating in the ocean of peril. How many tomorrows are there for me?

Guess I’m the only one who doesn’t know the meaning of three red roses.  I’ve been watching that red rose bush for half a month, from buds till completely bloomed. There were three red roses in hand, taken from the bush. The thing I saw in the eyes was confirmed after I checked the meaning of three red roses. Even the rose emoji has the meaning of love. Hence my rose means my love. I felt like a fool again, always ignored the metaphorical meaning of objects. Don’t you know the game rule? Why did you still fall?  Besides, I’m just a very bored person without ambition, what’s the reason to fall for me? The smiles and the way you looked at me couldn’t lie. I knew the answer when I asked myself whether you liked me, why? How long can this feeling last? If it is not forever then just take it as a game.